Ballz: The Director's Cut

Also known as: N/A

Developer: P.F. Magic

Ballz is a fighting game that is about as fun as…well, pardon my French, but it’s about as fun as getting kicked in the ballz. For any female readers who are unaware of what getting kicked in that region feels like for a male, imagine intense, crippling pain that shoots through your entire body, followed by an annoying pain that lingers on. That description is kinda like playing this game…it’s painful as you play, and the effects linger on when you’re done, almost like emotional scarring. As much as I feel that the fighting is poor, I will give PF Magic credit for finding a way to give a bunch of stick figures made out of balls some personality. Unfortunately, you can give each character all of the personality in the world, and it still can’t hide the fact that when it comes to fighting games of the time, Ballz was near the bottom of the barrel. Still, though, at least PF Magic had the Ballz to release it…….Sorry.

Review added: 10/12/2019

Bust-A-Move

Also known as: Puzzle Bobble (Japan)

Developer: Taito

I'll just get it out there – I’m pretty awful at Bust-A-Move. I love the game, but my aim is absolutely terrible. If I get a good shot in, it's due to luck, not skill. But anyway, for those not in the know, Bust-A-Move is like an inverted take on the classic match-three puzzle game formula. Instead of dropping blocks down to the bottom of the screen, in Bust-A-Move, you’re firing up from the bottom of the screen. Since you're shooting the bubbles up at the ceiling, if you can match three of the same bubble on the roof, it'll bring everything else down with it, adding a little more strategy to the game aside from simply matching colors. The game has spawned a ton of sequels (and knock-offs on the various smartphone stores) and very few of them offer a whole lot that's new...That's ‘cause the original was so solid that there's not a whole lot that can be done to improve it. I may not be great at Bust-A-Move, but I can recognize a solid game when I see it, and Bust-A-Move is a very solid puzzle game.

Review added: 10/15/2019