Nineball
Also known as: N/A
Developer: Syncro
| My Score | Avg. Score | ||||||
| 1.0 | 2.7 | ||||||
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Nineball is self-described as combining pool and pinball…but it also has a mild element of Breakout added in as well. If you like pool, pinball, and Breakout, then you should be in heaven, correct? Well, let's say that you love steak, ice cream, and babies…put all three of those items on a plate, and they probably aren't going to taste too well together. Yes, contrary to popular belief, baby flavor isn't exactly a popular addition to most recipes. When someone is an awful person, though, other people tend to treat them like they eat babies…and I've got a feeling that happened to Syncro. I bet that development team did, indeed, eat babies. It would make sense - they ate the babies, then digitized the soiled diapers that came from said babies and gave us this soft cloth of messy infant turds and called it Nineball. This doodie diaper is about as poor of a game as you can make. The only things about this game that resemble pool are the numbered circles on the table (which I guess are billiard balls) and when you launch a new ball, you can "hit it" at an angle, like if you were hitting a cueball to break the balls at the start of a game of billiards. However, once to let that cue ball loose, you can pretty much go make a sandwich, mow the lawn, or complete that VHS of Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies that you've been putting off…by the time you get back, there might be a chance that it's about time for you to try to bounce the ball back into play….where you will then have time to conceive a child and watch it be born before you need to interact with the ball again. Maybe that was the goal. You conceive a child, it's born, and Syncro swoops in and eats the baby. That makes sense I suppose. So, here's the deal…Nineball is one of the absolute worst games that I have ever played. But, apparently it's an excellent way to farm edible babies. I don't eat babies though, and neither should you. Bad people eat babies. Bad people like Syncro. Bad Syncro, bad!!
Review added: 07/26/2026