Carnival Massacre

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Thorn EMI

With a name like Carnival Massacre, one might think that this was an early, violent video game. However, the goal in this game is not to cause a massacre, but to prevent one. You see, Butcher Bill and Ruthless Rick are at the carnival and they're trying to kill people. Your goal is to save as many as you can. The game consists of two screens. The first screen shows three ferris wheels and a sky lift above them. Butcher Bill is in the sky lift and he's hurling missiles (or rocks…the manual says both) down at both you and the passengers of the ferris wheels. If he hits you, you lose a life. If he hits a passenger, they fall from the ferris wheel. Your goal is to run over and catch the falling carnival goer so that they land safely. If you miss too many passengers, a giant spring bounces across the screen, potentially killing you if you get hit by it. After all ferris wheel passengers have fallen from the ferris wheels, a gun appears and it's now your job to shoot Butcher Bill out of the sky lift. If you connect, Butcher Bill falls to his doom…but in an odd design choice, if you decide to show him mercy and try to catch him, you'll actually lose a life. Catching Butcher Bill is like getting hit with one of his rocks/missiles. If you're worried about another senseless death with Bill splattering on the ground, don't worry. He's back in the next stage, and with a buddy. Bill continues his antics in this screen, which takes place underneath roller coaster tracks, but this time Ruthless Rick is crawling on the tracks to plant mines…and if a passenger hits a mine, they fall and you're back to trying to catch folks who simply came to the carnival for a good time. At the end of the round, you're back to shooting Bill and letting his insides splatter on the concrete below. Then you're back to the first screen, with a higher difficulty an the game loops. Carnival Massacre isn't one of the absolute worst games that I've played, but I also can't say that it's very good. I liked that Thorn EMI tried something different here…but finding fun in this game is like winning one of those giant stuffed animals at a real carnival - the odds are stacked against it.

Review added: 08/02/2026

Centipede

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Atari

I'm not a Centipede expert, but I think that the Atari 8-bit port of the game introduces the world to Lord Motley Bugnut. I assume that's the kind-looking old feller on the box cover. The Atari 2600 game, which has a manual telling a story about Oliver the Elf picking up a magical stick that allowed him to shoot away at the centipedes and other bugs in the garden as he tries to restore it to a more livable habitat. The manual for this port just has some old dude with a last name that sounds like an insult giving you tips. I may start using that as an insult, now that I think of it. "Nice job, bugnut," sounds like it could work pretty well when the situation arises for it. Anyway, Lord Motley Bugnut gives you tips because he's a bug expert, so says the manual. Why someone that devoted their lives to learning about bugs would want you to exterminate them is beyond me. I knew that guy couldn't be trusted. He's a real bugnut, that one. Anyway, aside from those changes to the manual, the actual gameplay is basically the same as the arcade and/or Atari 2600 version. If you're familiar with that gameplay, you know what to expect. If not, the quick version is that a centipede moves from the top of the screen to the bottom. Your goal is to shoot away all segments of the centipede to advance on to the next level, while also exterminating any other bugs that get in your way like fleas, spiders, or scorpions. If you have an Atari 8-bit computer and want to be able to play this arcade classic at home, this port is a decent choice…though from all the ports that I've played thus far, it looks like the Atari 2600 one seems to be the most popular.

Review added: 07/19/2026