Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Vicious Cycle

Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard.is a game that I was hoping would be a so-bad-it’s-good experience. Instead, I got a bad game with a poor attempt at humor, which I’m assuming is mostly there to make up for the gameplay, which is very, very rough. In fairness, the humor isn’t ALWAYS awful - every now and then, a joke would make me chuckle. However, by and large, most humor attempts in this game made me want to roll my eyes, eject the disc, and throw the disc like a frisbee at the nearest elderly person I see, just so I can hopefully get arrested and thrown in jail for assault, which in turn, would prevent me from having to play this game until I’m once again a free man...Just imagine me holding up a roll of Mentos and smiling to the camera with me behind bars, successfully getting myself out of playing this game. Oh, and don’t forget the cops outside the cell giving me that, “I saw what you did there” smirk. The freshmaker. Anyway, mix the poor humor with the poor gameplay, and I just could not bring myself to stick with this game. I tried, but ultimately after two hours, without an end seemingly in sight, I just gave up on it. And no, I don’t think that Mr. Hazard will be making a return to my PS3 at any point.

Review added: 11/11/2021

Eat Them!

Also known as:  Eat Them! Hakase no Ikareru Monster (Japan)

Developer: FluffyLogic

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I played Eat Them! I’m not even completely sure how the game popped up in my Playstation Store downloads page. It may have been available for Playstation Plus members, or it may have just been a game that was cheap that I decided to pick up and review down the road. Anyway, after installing Eat Them! and seeing that it was a game where you control a giant monster and demolish a city, it had my interest. Unfortunately, kinda like my opinion on the original Rampage, while Eat Them! is fun in small doses, it gets repetitive very quickly. Smash stuff up, eat humans, smash more stuff up, eat more humans, time limit expires. That’s the gist of it. There are other mission types as well, like races, destroying specific parts of the city, etc. but nothing really breaks the repetition enough to make this more than just a so-so game. If you like giant monster games, then you’ll probably find some fun with Eat Them! If controlling a huge monster as it plows through a city isn’t your cup of tea, then Eat Them! Isn’t going to convert you.

Review added: 04/23/2020

El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Ignition Entertainment

The first thing that you'll notice when playing El Shaddai is that its visual style isn't really like any other game. It's very unique, and at times, it's very neat to watch. The story itself is also unique, and pretty bizarre at times…not necessarily good, mind you, but pretty bizarre and unique all the same. If you've been following this list for a while, you'll probably notice that I often enjoy games when they tend to be more bizarre. So, for me, this game started out very promising…unfortunately, the gameplay doesn't match up to the visuals or the bizarre aspects of the story. Once the gameplay starts, this is mostly a pretty mindless hack and slash game, with minor platforming elements tossed in. Yes, there is minor strategy in regards to trying to find the correct weapon to battle the correct enemy - but for the most part, I found the combat to be very bland…so bland that by the end, I was just wanting it to be over with. I completed it in around 6.5 hours, and that was more than enough for me. That's not to say that this is a bad game. It's not. And I did enjoy my time playing in the beginning…but there just wasn't enough here to keep me fully engaged until the end. Still, if you like brawlers, or just enjoy bizarre storytelling, then you may find some enjoyment in El Shaddai…I just wish it had enough variety in the gameplay to keep me enjoying it all the way until I saw the credits roll.

Review added: 08/14/2024

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Bethesda Softworks

My favorite memory about Oblivion was when I first realized that I had put over 60 hours of gameplay in....But had never finished the first mission of the main story yet. I had gotten so caught up in exploring this massive world, doing side quests, and taking part in fisticuffs with the residents of the world (including the wildlife...nothing beats boxing a bear) that I had forgotten that there was an actual main story to be found. Even with its glitches, which all Bethesda games are notorious for, Oblivion may be sandbox-style gameplay at its finest. Going back to play this game again to refresh my memory for this list, I planned on playing for an hour or two, nabbing some screenshots along the way…80 hours later, I’m having just as hard of a time putting the controller down now as I did 12 years ago. I enjoy all of the Elder Scrolls games, but I think I’d have to put Oblivion right at the top of that heap.

Review added: 07/08/2019

Elefunk

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: 8bit Games

If you're playing a random game on your Playstation3, and you start to sniff an unpleasant odor from the air…a funk, if you will…then you every well could be playing Elefunk, a pretty lame, unengaging strategy puzzle game. Critics seemed to like this game much more than I did, in fairness, but when you look at the average user score, a lot of players actually seem to have disliked this game more than I did…so Elefunk seems to be pretty polarizing. I'm not an architect…I don't plan to be an architect. The puzzles in this game, however, are architect-based. Essentially, you're trying to build bridges that won't collapse, while using limited materials. That concept in itself doesn't sound awful…but between the weird controller layout and how it takes forever to see if your bridge building was a success or failure, I found myself wanting to find the nearest wall so I could slam my head through it. With better controls, and faster, stream-lined gameplay, Elefunk may not have been an awful game. Unfortunately, like I hinted at the start of this review…it stinks.

Review added: 06/21/2025

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Ninja Theory

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West is one of those games that I thought was really good, but not quite great. Playing through it again for the first time since it was released 13 years ago, I still have the same feelings. The concept of Enslaved is that you control a fellow by the name of Monkey who travels with a charming young lady named Trip, who has enslaved Monkey with a device, ordering him to protect her, and promising to release him once she arrives home safely. Basically, if you know your folklore, this game is loosely based on the "Journey to the West" story…though I don't remember reading anything about giant robots or airships in that tale. Anyway, for the most part in this game, you'll be platforming through beautiful (for their time) environments and watching the relationship between Monkey and Trip grow. If I go too much into the story, I feel like I'll spoil it for anyone that wants to play, but it's got an interesting conclusion when you finally get there. I don't think that this game sold very well originally. I kind of put it in the same boat as Beyond Good & Evil - a very solid game that I'd love to see a sequel for, but lack of sales and interest may prevent it from ever happening. If you like platformers similar to the Uncharted games or the "recent" Tomb Raider games, then you'll probably enjoy your time with Enslaved as well.

Review added: 08/14/2024