X-Man

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Universal Gamex

X-Man is a game where you make your way through a maze, completely naked and with your weenie hanging out for the world to see, while a giant pair of scissors stalks you…to, well, probably chop your pal between your legs off. If you manage to make it to the end of the maze without losing your sausage link, your reward Is an adult scene where you're required to move your joystick (the controller, not your dingie) back and forth to cause the male on the screen to fornicate with the female on the screen until they both change colors….My guess is that both the male and female were protesting being in this game by holding their breath. Either that or they're both victims of radiation poisoning or something. This is a game where you play as a naked man being stalked by a giant pair of scissors…I don't know if I can find logic in why these people change colors while they partake in some horizontal polka. But anyway, each time you complete a maze, you're "rewarded" with one of these scenes, but with the guy and gal in a different position each time. The maze aspects do not control well. The fornication aspects are bland and dull…unless you're a pervert, then maybe the large images of the two folks engaging in a bout of baby making may do something for you. Regardless, though, like most adult-themed games, this is pretty awful. And as for the name…I can only guess that it's called X-Man because if the scissors snips off your dangus, that may make you an ex-man. A better name may have been X-Enjoyment, because for the duration of your time playing this game, it snips away all enjoyment from your life.

Review added: 08/29/2022

Xenophobe

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Atari

Xenophobe is kind of hard for me to review. On one hand, it's very technically impressive for the hardware that it's on. On the other hand, I never really ever saw the appeal of Xenophobe as a game. It seems to be a love it or hate it game, with some folks swearing up and down that it's great while others insist that it stinks. I'm in the middle - I don't hate it, I just don't really get the appeal from the versions of the game that I’ve played. That said, this version is very impressive considering the system that it plays on…and it’s a rare Atari 2600 game to boot, which makes it desirable for collectors…but purely looking at gameplay, unless you enjoy Xenophobe on other platforms, I don't think that the Atari 2600 version of the game will convert you into being a fan.

Review added: 09/29/2019