Cathouse Blues

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Playaround

Well, this probably isn't much of a stretch for the intended audience of this game, but the concept of Cathouse Blues is that you take the role of a pervert standing in the street. To start the game, you watch a lady of the night walk into one of twelve houses nearby. Then you'll watch six more of them prostitute-types walk into six more, different houses. Your goal is to memorize what houses the ladies disappeared into, get money from a teller, and then enter the houses one at a time and "score." At least Playaround was aware that such behavior wasn't exactly legal…roaming the streets of the neighborhood are police. If they catch you entering any of the non-prostitute houses, re-entering a previously entered house, and/or entering a prostitute house without the proper amount of money (these ladies value themselves at $20, I guess) then they will chase you. If they catch you, they’ll confiscate all of your cash and walk you down to jail at the bottom of the screen…forcing you to break out of jail in order to continue your questionable behavior. Good thing that escaping jail is as simple as walking right out. Once you escape jail, though, all it takes is for a police officer to see you and they'll begin to chase you again. Once you enter one of the prostitute houses (or cathouses, as the manual calls them) with the correct funds, the screen changes to a bed with a coupe on it. Moving the joystick up and down…well…you can probably figure out what that does. The "quality" of time in bed will determine how many points you get for spending time in these cathouses - I can't say it's exactly gripping or engaging gameplay. If you earn enough points, then the police will chase you every single time you exit a cathouse. It's also worth noting, that you can talk to the teller repeatedly and hold up to $220 at a time, to lessen the number of trips needed to re-fill your wallet…however, you'll notice a guy standing in jail. If you walk around with more than $100 in your pockets, that man will break out and start looking for you so he can mug you. Unlike getting caught by the police, which can happen multiple times, if the mugger catches you just once, it's game over. As awful of a concept as the game is, and it's not really well done, there are sparks of good ideas and concepts in Cathouse Blues. If the focus had been more on gameplay and less on adult themes, I think this could have been something worthwhile. As it is, though, it's not really anything worth playing unless you really, really need to see what fornication looks like in the Atari 2600.

Review added: 04/25/2026

Chase the Chuckwagon

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Spectravision

Chase the Chuckwagon is a surprisingly decent and rare game for the Atari 2600. I say "surprisingly decent" because the game was only available via mail order through Purina dog food. In the 70s and 80s, Purina had commercials that involved a dog chasing a tiny chuckwagon. The goal of this game is to essentially recreate those commercials. You control a dog and need to navigate a maze to reach the chuckwagon at the top of the screen before the timer runs out. While navigating the maze, a seemingly random object bounces around and changes with each level. If you get hit by that object, you’re frozen for a different amount of time, depending on the level. There’s also a man (possibly a dogcatcher) wandering the maze, trying to prevent you from reaching your goal. After successfully reaching your goal, you enter a quick mini-game where you need to stop the falling dog food bowl level with the dog so he can eat. Doing so gets you bonus points. The levels have enough variety to keep the game from getting boring quickly. In later levels, the penalty for being hit by objects becomes more severe. If you get hit once, you might be frozen in place long enough to be hit repeatedly and unable to move until the timer reaches zero. This increases the challenge as you progress through the levels. Chase the Chuckwagon isn’t the greatest game ever made, but it’s a solid game for the console and worth checking out if you’re a fan of the early days of video games.

Review added: 02/22/2021

Chopper Command

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Activision

Chopper Command is one of those Atari games where it’s fun when you’re alone, but it really shines when you play with other people. And that’s coming from a fella that prefers single player games. Though the controls feel awkward at first (I’m guessing to simulate controlling a helicopter), you get the hang of them in short order and will likely start having some fun as you try to shoot down enemy aircraft while also avoiding their weaponry firing at you. Having a friend (or multiple friends) over makes the game a bit more fun, in my opinion, as then the game becomes a battle of everyone trying to beat each other’s high scores. That said, simply competing against yourself is a nice way to kill a few minutes in its own right…and I’ll admit, part of the reason that I enjoy playing this game is I tend to yell, “Get to da choppah!!” in a certain Austrian accent when I’m about to play. Whether you like yelling things in Austrian accents (like, “It’s not a toomah!!”) or just enjoy a well-designed shooter, I bet you’ll find something to like in Chopper Command.

Review added: 02/15/2020

Combat

Also known as: Tank Plus (Sears)

Developer: Atari

Combat is a very simple game, but a blast to play when you've got friends around to play against. Combat is a multiplayer-only game where players try to shoot each other with tanks, jets, and airplanes. The most "kills" at the end of the game is the winner. That variety in vehicles to control, and the noticeable difference in how each one controls, helps bring longevity to a game that may otherwise get old quick. On top of that, there are a variety of levels to play in…from wide-open arenas where your only hope to avoid being shot is to dodge the incoming fire, to areas with walls to help you avoid fire, and even clouds to hide behind, when playing as a plane. If you’re looking for some real unpredictability, there’s even levels where bullets bounce off of walls, making everything even more chaotic and making it very possible that you shoot yourself if you aren’t careful with your shots. While today, a lot of this seems pretty basic, in the early days of video games, Combat was pretty amazing. Over 40 years later, it’s still simple fun if you’ve got a friend over and you’re looking to kill a few minutes of time.

Review added: 07/07/2019

Crackpots

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Activision

Imagine that you’re on a rooftop, looking down. You notice that you’ve got a bunch of spiders running around on the street...and a bunch of flowerpots are laying around near you. Sounds like you've got a great weapon to eliminate those pesky arachnids, huh? The folks that made Crackpots thought so, as your goal is to hurl flowerpots at spiders in order to kill them and gain a high score. Or maybe they're crabs instead of spiders? The box art almost makes it seem like they should be caterpillars. If that’s a spider, it’s the most caterpillar-looking spider I’ve ever seen. Ooooor maybe they’re the video game debut of those face crab thingies from Half-Life…if that’s the case, who knew that shattering aclay flower pot on one of those jerks was the easiest way to exterminate them? Anyway, whatever they are, they’re weak against those flower pots that you seemingly have an unlimited supply of. Overall, Crackpots is decent, but not great. I'd imagine throwing real flower pots at stuff would be much more fun than playing this so-so game…well, until the cops show up to figure out what all the commotion was about.

Review added: 09/23/2019

Custer's Revenge

Also known as: N/A

Developer: Mystique

Custer's Revenge is, based on the description on the box, a game about rape. Sure, that word isn’t used on the box, but based on the definition of that word, that’s what this game is. You play as a nude General Custer (who is apparently back from the grave, which is why he's getting revenge - I guess the creators thought rape was okay if it was a zombie doing the crime) while he tries to dodge arrows of the Native American warriors in order to fornicate with a Native American woman named Revenge, who is tied to a pole. I have no idea who tied her to a pole...but why bother filling in story holes? Not only is this an extremely poor concept for a video game, the game itself is also poorly executed. I'm thankful for that, too. I'm not sure how I'd feel if I had to type the words, "That rape game had a poorly-chosen theme, but it plays like a dream!" Hey, that kind of rhymed. Anyway, if I ever meet the mastermind behind this game, I'll gladly let their stomach meet the Duke brothers, Righty and Lefty. The punches would burn like mace as they pummel his face…another rhyme!! But seriously, just stay away.

Review added: 07/04/2019