Man Boobs Are Candy Corn HD

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Time Killer Games Productions

I don’t know if I need to really write anything here, do I? You saw the title of the game…you can see what it looks like in the screenshot…you can see what score I gave it. But for those of you who expect some sort of commentary, Man Boobs Are Candy Corn HD is pretty much what I thought it would be. When the official screenshots for the game failed to show screens of any actual gameplay, I knew this was going to be a stinker. But, because I like bizarre games, I figured I’d give this a shot. Afterall, I could be wrong right? Yes, I can…but not in this case. The easiest way for me to describe this game is an NES Action 52 platformer, but with prettier graphics. The controls are awful, the level design is horrendous…it’s just all bad. You might get an initial chuckle out of a man being so obese that his man boobs have transformed into candy corn, but this game is so awful that the image that initially made you laugh will forever after make you groan in disappointment. Much like real candy corn, I can’t imagine that anyone would actually enjoy this.

Review added: 07/04/2021

Memrrtiks, Suashem

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Terry Cavanagh

Memrrtiks, Suashem is another very simplistic game from Terry Cavanagh. It’s similar in concept to Super Hexagon – the game itself probably won’t last more than a few seconds and your goal is to simply survive long enough to get a high score, then go back and attempt to beat that score. Unlike Super Hexagon, though, Memrrtiks, Suashem (sometimes I think Mr. Cavanagh was on the sauce when he named some of these games) isn’t quite as visually pleasing. In fact, the bizarre color scheme looks like a quilt that someone’s grandmother would have made if that grandmother only had three and a half fingers, one eye, and eyelashes hanging over the good eye like moss on a tree…I’m just imagining the moss lashes blocking her view…maybe I’m on the sauce without knowing it, too. Did someone spike my chocolate milk? Anyway, the odd color scheme doesn’t make it very easy to see what exactly is going on, so it really takes away from the game as a whole. Overall, if you liked Super Hexagon, you may appreciate this game as well, but I think most folks will agree, this is nowhere near the quality of Mr. Cavanagh’s more-simply-named game.

Review added: 07/04/2021

Moonlight Walks

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: American Bishoujo

Moonlight Walks is a very short visual novel that was exclusive to the Ouya. By very short, I mean like 5 minutes to play through a scenario short. The story it presents is fairly interesting, but it’s also not very original – the concept of the story has been done before and as soon as you start to see it lean that way, the story as a whole becomes pretty predictable. Considering this takes about five minutes to complete, as I mentioned, it does not take very long for you to see where the story is going to end up. That said, I did like it slightly better than another Ouya-exclusive visual novel that I played, Air Pressure. Like Air Pressure, this is also a decent game to play to see if you like visual novels. If you find yourself getting restless or bored before this 5 minute story reaches its end, then maybe this genre isn’t for you.

Review added: 07/04/2021

Mr. Triangle's Adventure

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Helium Interactive

Mr. Triangle’s Adventure isn’t a perfect RPG by any means, but it’s a fun one with some pretty neat ideas tossed in. In the game, Mr. Triangle is able to steal from enemies…an RPG staple, right? Not quite. In this game, say if you’re battling a giant tomato with sunglasses on, when you steal from the tomato, you actually steal his sunglasses, dropping his hit accuracy. This doesn’t work for all enemies, but during a few fights, your thievery can help you gain the advantage. Likewise, if you’re fighting a cob of corn and use a fire spell on it, a piece of popcorn will appear and start to fight you, or an earth spell turns potatoes into a mashed variation. It’s little things like that which keeps Mr. Triangle’s Adventure entertaining. Plus, when your party consists of a triangle, an ape, an alligator, and a manatee wearing a jetpack (because manatees can’t walk – that’s good logic, there) and you’re battling mostly fruits and vegetables, it’s kind of hard to not be entertained. Thankfully, the game itself is pretty solid as well. It’ll probably never win any awards or anything, but it’s a good, enjoyable RPG while it lasts. If you missed out on the Ouya, it’s on Steam for $0.99. If you enjoy comedy and RPG’s, you’ll get more than your money’s worth here.

Review added: 07/04/2021