Sexy Poker

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Gameloft

Well here's a game that I didn't expect - a licensed strip poker game on a Nintendo console. Before any parents freak out about how their children may have potentially played a nudie game nearly fifteen years ago, relax. There's no nudity here. It's just drawings of lady folk in provocative positions, and you "win" when you're able to reduce the ladies to their undergarments. The way the game works is that each woman has a specific amount of cash to gamble with. If you can clear out her money, she "cashes in" some of her clothing for another $200 to use for their gambling addiction. This continues until the only clothing left to lose would result in her being arrested for indecent exposure. If you think that this game is so shallow that it only contains strip poker, then you are very wrong. In fact, you should apologize to the developers for assuming such an awful thing. Shame on you…There's strip blackjack here, too. The strip blackjack plays the same as strip poker, just modified slightly for the different card game that you're playing. Honestly, this is a waste of time to play. Perverted folks will probably be mad that they don't see nude cartoons. People that want to play poker, would probably just rather play it with real cards and without making these poor young ladies lose their clothing. I can't really see any reason for anyone to want to play this or why anyone would enjoy this. I've played worse casino games, to be honest, but that still doesn't make this anything worthwhile.

Review added: 02/14/2022

Super Mario Galaxy

Also known as:  Super Mario Wii Galaxy Adventure (South Korea)

Developer: Nintendo

Super Mario Galaxy, for a time when it first was released, was the highest-rated game by critics ever, surpassing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time's grasp on that title. As time went on, enough reviews came in where it settled in at a few spots below number one, but the fact remains; critics absolutely loved this game. I don't blame 'em. I've always preferred 2D Mario games to their 3D brethren, but Super Mario Galaxy did have me hooked for quite a while. Revisiting it again for this list, I found myself absolutely hooked all over again. I recently felt that Super Mario Odyssey was my favorite 3D Mario game that I had ever played…starting my journey through space as everyone’s favorite Italian plumber again, I found myself questioning if Super Mario Galaxy was the true holder of that crown…Spoiler: it is.

Review added: 02/15/2021

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Also known as:  Dairantou Smash Brothers X (Japan, South Korea)

Developer: Game Arts

Super Smash Bros. Melee absorbed so much of my time in college - a group of friends and I would have little Smash Bros. parties on a regular basis. While I would sometimes get lured away to spend one day at a Halo party with different friends instead, the Smash Bros. parties were generally where I wanted to be. When Super Smash Bros. Brawl came out, I was no longer in college and much more happy to play games in solitude rather than with others. That didn't change how much I enjoyed this title, but it did have an effect on how much I played it. I doubt I spent a fraction of the hours in this game as I did in Melee, but that doesn’t take away from this game’s quality. The Subspace Emissary mode is the main, new feature. Basically, you’ll go on a journey of side-scrolling levels and boss fights with a team of fighter…ironically, just as I decided that I wanted to play more games in solitude, Super Smash Bros. Brawl released the deepest single-player experience for the series to that point. It helped offset the fact that I had moved halfway across the country from my Smash Bros. party pals. Anyway, overall, Brawl may not be as fondly remembered by me as Melee, but it’s still a solid game all the same.

Review added: 05/28/2021

Swords

Also known as:  N/A

Developer: Panic Button

Swords is a fighting game about people wielding…um, swords. There’s a story mode…and then there’s a versus mode…and then there’s a ‘put the disc back in the case and never play this game again’ mode. I think Swords tries to be like Punch-Out!! but with swords, and it fails pretty miserably. The game requires almost no skill for every fight in the game…until you get to the final battle, in which case if you slacked off for the rest of the game, you’ll be in for a rude awakening. The game urges you to block attacks, but until the final battle, it’s never necessary. Simply wait for your opponent to be about to attack, then swing your sword. Repeat. It’s pretty dull. Worse are the mini-games sprinkled between each fight. I don’t want to play Fruit Ninja with bowling balls. I don’t want to chop pyramids into logs. I bought a game about fighting, so let me fight, golly darn dang it. Anyway, Swords, like a lot of motion-based games on the Wii, just simply isn’t very good. You may find some mild amusement in it initially, but with a lack of content, even people that enjoy the gameplay probably won’t be playing this for very long before moving onto something better.

Review added: 02/15/2021